The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Well today is my first day of school. Actually school started last week but I didn't go :-p so im here now killing time until 6:30pm. Im a bit depressed because I'm still allowing hector into my heart and chilling with him brings me back to that nasty depressed place that I was before. I'm not trying to go back to that. I want to move on. But, it's hard. He says that he is done with betsy and he is moving on. I don't know if he's lying or not. I can't be mad because if he leaves her he'll just find another girl. He even told me that! so I think it's best if I drop this. I know I said that before but I'm gonna try a little harder this time. anyways, i'm getting to know romeous the latin cutie I met. Taking things slow. We'll see what happened. Stay tuned

Well i am still over hector's house we got into a big argument earlier. See i was going thru his phone when i went to his contacts and looked up betsy well i accidently hit call and it called her. He got pissed and tried to put me out. So me being me I snapped and told him about himself. It seems as much as I try to let go when that shit comes up it hurts. I still feel the jealousy, bitterness and resentment. Even after I felt nice about growing and maturing and not caring about that anymore. Needless to say we are cool now I guess he'll prob put me out in the morning we'll see how that goes. On another note, met a guy named romeus a latino from ny yum!

COMMENTS

-

---

chasedbywolves
05:39 Jan 28 2011

That's one of the biggest mistakes that women make towards men, is not trusting their men enough to respect their privacy. Of course he got pissed. That's like getting pissed if he read your diary without asking.



The best form of solving issues, is simple communication. If that's not working, it's time to move forward to someone who will.

---

POST COMMENT

well i started school yesterday. didn't go. I have class tonight and tomorrow. Not going. Well this has been a ritual of sorts for me ever since i started school. I usually don't go the first week. Actually it builds momentum and drive for me to succeed. Hell it worked last semester straight a's baby. Now im at hectors crib using his computer about to put songs on my ipod lol ha ha. Not expecting anything on the romantic side in fact im done with that. Im moving on. it was his birthday monday so i baked him some cupcakes aren't i the nice ex? ha ha whatever until then kids.

well its that time again? time for school to start. I actually just registered today. And, I have a class today but guess what? im not going hell what do you expect my brain is fried. I mean I literally just registered and got my classes so my brain is not prepared for school thoughts, ill make it up next week for sure. anyways, im killing time right now cause i want to go home but traffic is heavy as hell being as this is rush hour. Screw it! oh well im tired as hell today. got hardly no sleep.

Well i been ok until now. im single and im happy. i see now that i canr depend on other people i.e men for my happiness. with hector i was codependent and no relationship will last based on that. Im saying positive affirmations as much as i can now to build a foundation of security and love for myself. like rupaul says if you dont love yourself how you gonna love someone else? its a long road but gotta do it. i know i have abadonment and rejection issues. seems like when i get shown affection i cling. not cool. im glad i see that now so i can make an effort to change. ive gotten offers for relationships but ive turned them down because im not ready nice to see that im wanted thou

Met a guy today off a chatline patheric i know he seems nice. i was bored and lonley. we talked seemed to click exchanged pics we liked what we saw. not gonna move fast on this. taking it easy. im so dissillushioned and burned out about my life. everything is going wrong and its making me edgy. i hate that when i put my all into something i get fucked up results. took some x earlier bought from my reg guy they both was duds i meant felt nothing no coolness relaxation zip. i texted him and told him. if im spending my money i wanna get high point blank. i think im gonna become an addict cuz im sooo depressed and lonley. gosh the world is hard for a young black woman. but i will prevail cuz im smarter than the average bear.